It's the kind of information Rumsfeld only claimed to have had. Ableton and Serato have officially announced a business partnership, though they have yet to disclose any specific plans for that venture. Of course, we can't wait for them to decide specifically HOW they're going to threaten our freedom, which is why we need to bomb Aukland, New Zealand NOW.

The incriminating press release, in it's entirety:

Serato and Ableton are happy to announce a partnership, which will pave the way for the future of Digital DJing.

With shared artist rosters from hip-hop (DJ Jazzy Jeff, DJ Nu-Mark, A-Trak) to electronica (Paul Van Dyk, DJ Sasha), both Ableton Live and Serato Scratch Live are renowned as the premier performance platforms in clubs around the globe.

While Serato’s Scratch Live excels in vinyl emulation, music library control and lightning quick hands-on scratching, Ableton Live provides the tools for production, on-the-fly remixing and beat creation.

“Ableton and Serato take different approaches to modern musical performance,” says Ableton CEO Gerhard Behles, “But both companies live by the philosophy that software should be straightforward, easy to use, and most importantly, reliable and stable onstage and in the studio. Ableton has never had an answer for the DJ who wants vinyl control, and rather than try to emulate what Serato do so well, we simply make sure that our products work well together.”

Serato Audio Research CEO Steve West agrees. “After years of talking together, we’re thrilled to be working with Ableton. It’s exciting to think about what we can offer to DJs and producers: the ability to go beyond just spinning records and add a personal stamp to the music they play.”

Just where this Serato and Ableton collaboration will take us has yet to be seen but one thing is clear: the worlds of DJing, remixing and production for artists worldwide have changes ahead.

I flirted with the idea of rewriting the announcement as if it was the official proof that Bin Laden and Hussein had conspired together before 9/11, but I got as far as "Al-Qeada and The Ba'ath Party are happy to announce a partnership, which will pave the way for the future of the Islamic Caliphate" before I chickened out. I leave this task to some other brave American.