I usually try to mentally prepare myself for these assignments by reading Hunter Thompson's Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas, but this time I decided that it would be pointless. Imagine arriving at NAMM under the influence of such a book.

For those who haven't read it, it's the semi-true account of Hunter Thompson's coverage of the Mint 400 motorcycle race in 'Vegas. Thompson was a freelancer who needed the money, and when the chance to give a reputable publication 400 words on the race and get an all-expenses paid trip to Vegas, he leapt on it like a starving man on half-barbecued badger.

One of the major highlights of Fear And Loathing has Thompson arriving at the gig in a half-crazed state, due to his massive ingestion of illegal recreational pharmaceuticals. While he waited for his hotel room to become available, he watched in horror as the patrons of the hotel bar morphed into giant reptiles.

NAMM is clearly the wrong gig for such misbehavior, and I'll tell you why; in the era of "You break it, you bought it," a poor writer can hardly afford to buy one of the ghastly plate lunches served at the event, let alone pay for the breakage caused by an irresponsible substance frenzy.

Truth be told, it's dangerous at NAMM even to have too much coffee. I get too edgy on a caffeine overload, the sounds of bad Van Halen riffs played over and over again would send me into a homicidal fit. The NAMM security guards would wind up pulling me off some ten-thumbed, tone deaf noise polluter and Gearwire's operating budget would be severely depleted, used to bail me out of jail and have me tossed into an observation ward until the Thorazine kicked in.

Here's what WILL happen at NAMM; Gearwire has pulled out all the stops to give this show a serious amount of coverage. Just how far will we go? Well, just keep reading. Those of you who remember our coverage at the 121st AES in San Fran will raise an eyebrow or two, we can say that much. With improved capabilities and the wonders of modern technology, our geek factor has increased 100 percent.

I refuse to announce any particulars. The competition is always watching, and I'd rather let 'em be both shocked AND awed. But watch this space, there is a ton of stuff to come.

While I don't plan on emulating Hunter Thompson's visit to Las Vegas (which ended with him stiffing TWO hotels for insane amounts of money, according to the book), I do regret that there won't be any casino gambling at NAMM.

That, folks, is one for the NAMM suggestion box. See you on the floor.