As if B.G. from Cash Money Millionaires didn't already regret not copyrighting the term "Bling-Bling," Neutrik announced a whole new fistful of salt to rub in his wounds.

The Neutrik CrystalCON XLR connector may be the world's most literally spectacular balanced connector. The black, metal housing is embedded with genuine Swarovski crystal elements -- what better way to propose a long-term contractual touring agreement with a dedicated FOH mixer (just don't tell them that Swarovski elements are actually precision-cut lead crystal glass)?

Neutrik describes their CrystalCON connectors as a "fancy, noble, valuable, attractive package." Noble? I buy "fancy" and "valuable" ("attractive", I leave up to the individual consumer), but I seriously doubt these connectors are bastions of moral integrity. Actually, on second thought, the fact that they aren't actual diamond means they ARE guaranteed to be blood-free. That's right, Kanye, you are cleared to upgrade.

Just so you don't think that CrystalCON connectors are all flash, make note of the gold-plated connectors, not to mention the venerable Neutrik name situated above the ring of gaudy, superfluous nonsense. Who cares if the term "Bling" was officially pronounced "dead" in 2004 by MTV? Like the commercial says, "an imitation-diamond element is forever."