Announcer: "Wake-up, Kenosha, it's 4:45am and that means it's time for your favorite drive-time radio personalities -- The Wobbulator and The Gator!"

(Wobbulator triggers samples of farts and cartoon springs)

Gater: "Hey there sleepy heads, welcome to the first day of the rest of your hellish life!"

Wobb: "Heyooo!"

Gater: "That's right kiddos, it's Monday morning, meaning you're probably sitting in traffic, mentally recomposing your resume while trying to jump-start your system with a venti quad-shot mochaccino and trying to convince yourself not to turn off into the 10 ft embankment for the 15th time in as many days!"

Wobb: "Of course, if you're like me, you've already been up for twelve hours, ring modulating 96 waveforms (on any VST host software) via two independent left-right LFO and 32 sequencer patterns and offering distortion, sample-rate reduction and cross-modulation, all tweakable via an easy-to read layout with oversized buttons!"

Gater: "Or, if you're like me, you've been chopping up audio signals with a 16-step gate sequencer, featuring two envelope shapes and a pattern randomize feature."

Wobb: "Of soure, Gater's been up longer than me, 'cause he offers his services for free!"

Gater: "Heyoo!"

Both: "Heyoo!"

(Wobbulator triggers explosions and female-orgasm sounds)