~~It's everyone's favorite mustachioed silent film star, Bill Holland!~~

~~What's Bill doing? He's demoing the Stanton Audio SCS.3d DaScratch, that new-fangled DJ Controller everyone's been talking about!~~

~~Oh, no, Bill! That doesn't go there!~~

~~That's better. You've done it! You've taught us all how to make loops and change EQ parameters. Hooray!~~