Already officially discouraged on most states' public transportation are radios, loud earbuds, and disruptive cell phone conversations. Allow me to recommend one more addition to that proscriptive list: the Urban Outfitters Washboard Necktie.

Seriously, Urban Outfitters, you expect me to see some douche-y trust-fund hipster board the Williamsburg "L" at 4:53 pm after a tough day of trying to figure out how to hide my financial industry job's offensively huge end-of-year bonus from the IRS and not punch him / her right in the ironic molest-ache (double-ironic for her)? Come ON.

On the other hand, I'd pay good money for video footage of someone trying to get through the airport TSA security check wearing one of these. . . as long as they don't start playing the damn thing, that is. Man do I hate washboards (other than my own rock-solids, of course).

The Urban Outfitters Washboard Necktie is available for a mere $20. While that's approximately $19.75 more than any hipster should be spending on neck-wear, the W.N. does come with a pair of thimbles for getting your Zydeco on. You can even order them online.